The things that my father has said.

This post is going to be a little weird. I hope no one is offended. I just want to introduce my father Jeffery Dixon Sr. Since I brought him up in class.

The most accurate description of my dad is that he looks like Jeff Foxworthy but acts like Stone Cold Steve Austin. My dad has no filter, he is an old war veteran. He is also from the deep south. I think he just says things to get a reaction from people. I am not sure.
I told the story in class about his unique manner of handling situations.

Let me share with you a few of his more mild quotes that have stuck with me. Imagine an old smokey country voice when you read these.

"It is just that obvious, like turds in buttermilk."

"Thats messed up , like a soup sandwich."

"Get your booger finger out of the trigger."

"Thats more suspicious then a nun squatting in a cucumber field."

" Not since Noah was a seaman in a bamboo raft."

"That is wrong, wrong like Nazi homicide wrong."

"Damn, it is hotter then two squirrels in a wool sock."

One of my favorites came after he fell down chopping wood and hurt his back, I was taking care of him. Our conversation went somthing like this.

"Hows your back dad?"

"It feels like someone threw me out of a truck, then stomped a mud hole in me."

"Sorry Dad. You know your getting a little old for that stuff, your almost 50. How about you take a break."

"Son I am not old, I am aged! Like a fine Whisky. I go down smooth and burn like hell. Appreciate you will look this good at my age."

"Ok dad."

I asked my father about the zombie apocalypse once. His response was,

"Son, the world is full of freaks just like your momma."

Dad, what does that even mean.......