Sunday, February 8, 2015

A birthday celebration

Yesterday was my godfather's birthday, and I absolutely knew I had to share with you all the present that I gave him! My dear godfather/teacher/mentor, David Pucciarelli, has probably everything he could ever ask for, which makes it very hard to get gifts for him. Well, he always loves when I paint or write stories for him, so I did just that. Just for reference, Burwell is an English teacher, Terango is a civics teacher, & they're all depicted as monsters.

I just love that I'm able to write something so nonsensical to use as a gift that someone appreciates. Has anyone else used their English talents for something like this?

If anything, this will be a silly read. Enjoy! :)







                                                          The Great Pucciarelli Beast

“Grumble grumble...” uttered the great Pucciarelli beast. “It’s the day of my birth that I care about least!” He put on his socks and his brand new beast shoes, then headed on off to see beast Lauraloo.
“Grumble grumble,” he said once again with each step, “the last thing I need is Lauraloo’s pep!”
See, Pucciarelli beast was Lauraloo’s very best friend. When he seemed down, she’d stop it right then! Lauraloo was the weirdo of all the beast land, due to the incident when she ate another beast’s hand. She definitely did hold up on her use, she was a master hoola-hooper, offered good friendship and made her famous toad soup.
“Hi Pucciarelli!” she stumbled and knocked over the beast in a bound.
“Grumble grumble…”
“Hey, what the heck is that sound??”
“Lauraloo, don’t you remember today?”
“Yes of course! Free worm donuts at the beast market display!”
With that said, Lauraloo began to skip towards the town,
while Pucciarelli beast dragged his feet in the ground.
The first stop was to beast Burwellian’s stead.
He had a stand where he sold raw pickled chicken heads.
“Come one, come all! No person too big or too small – to enjoy famous Burwellian chicken heads!”

You could hear that jingle from miles away.
That, and Burwellians height made him quite easy prey.
Beast Pucciarelli kicked Burwellian right in the shin,
“Hey Pucciarelli, I didn’t see you down there, how the heck have ya been?!”

“Grumble grumble…,” he muttered, as he popped a chicken head in his mouth.
“Hey Lauraloo, whys Pucc become such a grouch?”
“Burwellian, do you not REMEMBER today??” Pucciarelli beast asked the question and started to sway.
“AGH! I almost forgot! … What a completely, utterly, careless thought!”
“Ha,” Pucciarelli whispered, “I knew he would remember today…”
“It’s free worm donuts at Terango’s display!”



You could never miss Terango, because he could be smelled from a mile away.
His hair was thick with worms to all the customers’ dismay.
“Hey Pucc! Hey Burwellian! Hey Lauraloo!”
He whispered, “I’m sorry...” snatched a worm from his hair, and snapped it for goo.
“You’re here to sample one of my world famous rancid worm donuts I assume?”
Terango smirked as he slid the dead worm into its tiny donut tomb.
“So what’s on the agenda for today’s escapade?” Terango looked at the worms Pucciarelli was eating, and then loudly bayed, “PUCCIARELLI BEAST! SET THE DAMNED DONUT DOWN!”
The customers around also followed suit,
while Pucciarelli beast screeched and dropped a half-eaten purple newt.

“Pucciarelli beast… I… I don’t know how that could’ve possibly gotten in there…”
Pucciarelli beast was wide eyed in an overabundance of despair.

Burwellian and Lauraloo both loudly screamed, “TERANGO, YOU CAN’T SWITCH WORMS FOR NEWT CREAM!”
Every monster in town from far and from wide, knew that newts and newt cream were a sure way to die.
Pucciarelli beast began to break out in bright purple polka dots.
“You idiot! You imbecile! You’re thoughtless! You’ll rot!”
It wasn’t before long that a crowd started to gather.
A bystander yelled for help before Pucc became a cadaver.
“Lauraloo…” Beast Pucciarelli clutched his chest in much pain.
“Yes Pucciarelli beast?” she said with disdain.
“Lauraloo… I wanted you to know that today was my birthday. I never thought I would die on the day of my birth.” He began to tear up and grab at the earth.
“Lauraloo. I know I always make a grumble about this exact day… but now I realize how I’ve taken it for granted in a way.”

Beast Medical showed up and put Pucciarelli beast on the gurney and said,
“Don’t worry sir, with you being the prime age of 363, there’s a high chance that you won’t end up dead.”




It seemed like three hours before Pucciarelli beast awoke.
He was sat at the head of a table and heard a terrible croak.
“What?... What’s going on? Anyone there? Lauraloo?”

“Pucciarelli beast, are you finally awake? We’re going to need you to do the honors of cutting the garbage cake.”

When his eye sight finally focused, he sat up quite straight.
Nothing could compare to what was in front of his plate.
“WHAT A FEAST!” cried the wild Pucciarelli beast.
There was boiled fish eyes and frog legs galore.
Mayonnaise for marshmallows sat there to pour.
Sour buttermilk hot chocolate was there to sip,
While garlic hummas and peppermint sticks were waiting to dip.

“I don’t understand? What happened? How?” He looked at his purple polka dot skin and began to growl.
“Pucciarelli beast, we gave you a sleeping newt… a bit out of spite…” Burwellian looked proud, his smile quite tight.
“It seems like every year, you don’t take your day of birth with much pride, so we figured you’d be a lot more thankful for this feast if you thought you had died.” Terango then shuffled his feet and looked at beast Lauraloo.
“I know it was drastic, but listen, this is all JUST for you.”


Pucciarelli beast stood up, looking fiercely proud.
“You all are my favorite beasts, no matter how far your brains are in clouds.
Thank you each and everyone for all that you’ve done,
now lets dig in, it’s time to finally celebrate for my birthday fun."

1 comment:

  1. Ha! What a fun and sweet post. Thanks for sharing it with us!

    ReplyDelete